Is there anybody out there?

Things that happen more often than me making additions to my BLOG.

Leap Years
Fair Elections in Afghanistan
Me buying a round of drinks
Sightings of Bin Laden

Actually come to think of it, I think Billy Joel has added two more versus to “ We didn’t start the fire “.

Anyway, regardless of all that, and contrary to belief, we are still around.

To try and remember what we have done since January stands even less chance than me remembering what we did last weekend, yesterday, or since breakfast, as my brain appears to be ‘full’ and not able to download any of the important stuff elsewhere in case of emergencies.

In the style of writing a Christmas Letter (which will probably be my next update) I seem to remember us starting off with me having surgery on my shoulder in February.
I had what is known as a ‘sub-acromial decompression’, which sounds very fancy (and also shiny) but is in fact simply keyhole surgery on my shoulder where they ground off spurs of bone that had been snagging on tendons. I was very brave and did not cry, but this was because they inserted a local anaesthetic into my shoulder during the operation, and left it in for 24 hours. It is when that is taken out that you realise you have had surgery.

Many people thought I had this op simply so that when Scott and Sarah then visited us from New York the next week, I could not play golf and be shown up. It did not stop me walking around the local golf course with Scott and 2 of my mates, with them swinging their clubs and me popping pills as if they were peanuts. When asked what it was I seemed to regularly be munching on, I said it was ‘cocodamol’ and ‘tramidol’. Apparently these can lead to respiratory failure, if taken in large quantities. As Gav is a Urologist, and Rob is a forensic pathologist, I figured my chances were pretty good, as one could try and resuscitate me, and the other could perform a PM if it didn’t work out.

Scott and Sarah’s visit was over far too quickly, but it was great to see them, and see that Ruby and Jacob are getting so tall.

Lily has been taking dancing classes for some time now, and they had their first big production in Glasgow. The show did not start until 19:30, so they were allowed to have lots of sweets to keep their energy up. They performed 4 dances, while I surreptitiously tried filming with my covert ‘underarm’ video camera. Most of the shots seemed to be of my armpit, or my shirt, which is a pretty weird movie when set to children’s background music, and 40 small feet tapping and shuffling. Damien Hirst could probably sell it for £20,000,000 to the Tate Modern, but all I got was a slap from the wife, and having to pay £16 for the professional DVD.

July saw Moira’s SAD (Seasonally Adjusted Disorder) return, and so we booked a holiday to Mallorca, sharing a villa with our friends Kirsty and Gav, and their 3 kids. It was brilliant to find the sun, some sand, some cold beer, and to have a swimming pool, and the week went by far too quickly. Upon return we shot straight down to London to see Kate and Rob, who were over for Maria’s wedding. Naturally they looked ab-fab, and while we only got one afternoon with them, we got the lovely feeling of a Kate and Rob ‘top up’, where your spirits are elevated way beyond where they normally are, and then a great feeling of sadness when it is time to say goodbye.














To restore the spirits, we had Moira and Jackie’s civil partnership to look forward to on August 22nd, and prior to that Mum and Dad turned up in Scotland to visit us. We picnicked with Mum, and generally ran around having a great time, and Mum even babysat for us while Moira and I had a luxurious night stay at Mar Hall. After lunch on a Monday, we set off for the hotel, used the gym (for about 10 seconds) and then spent the afternoon by the pool reading, jumping in and out of the steam room and sauna, and then went back to our room where we drank fizzy pop in our bathrobes and slippers, and watched DVD’s. Dressing up for dinner, and looking all grown up, we supped and dined until we almost had to be rolled back to our room, for a great nights sleep. After a leisurely breakfast we returned home, feeling as if we had spent a week away.















Dad had kindly spent many weeks getting everything in place for our 2 day fishing bonanza. He ‘tied’ 2 boxes of identical flies, booked a wee boat on Loch Carron, and we had 2 brilliant days driving around The Campsies and all of his old haunts, which bizarrely now are local to me. The weather however did not play ball, and in Scottish Summer style, the second day was an absolute downpour, almost from beginning to end, but we still caught 5 trout that day all the same. At the end of that day, a friend had secured a couple of us VIP tickets at Hampden Park for the U2 ‘360’concert, and we went and sang our butts off. Anne and Scott arrived to hang out for a few days, and to ‘top up’ on Loch Lomond peace of mind, and to eat as much shortbread as possible.

En masse, en famille and on EasyJet, we headed to Hove (or as it is locally known ‘Hove actually’) to celebrate Jackie and Moira’s big day. The event itself was brilliant and went off without a hitch (well just the one, and that was expected of course), the weather played ball, and we all had one. Malcolm, Kristen, Joshua and Georgia joined us, along with Neil and Lorna, who had left Archie and Eve at home (with a babysitter I hasten to add). A cousins song had been written and was performed, using the Sound Of Music as the theme

Sadly we had to say goodbye to Mum, Dad, Sister and Sister-In-Law, (as well as all the cousins) and head back to Glasgow, where surprisingly it was raining. To get myself back in the groove after all the previous months excitement, it was time to take on the annual cake bake (category: Best Cake Baked By A Male). Roping in a new contestant this year, I convinced our friend Paul to compete. Being a bit of a perfectionist, he was up until 2am baking an amazing cake. He also admitted to drinking a lot of wine in that time, and when asked what was in his cake, her advised that a cork or two might actually be found. I think the judges must have had the same idea the night before, as this year they placed my cake 1st.

Gav decided that as my shoulder had now been rehabilitated, it was time to get my large carcass back into action, and to join his weekly Monday night football team. He assured me that there were guys of my pensionable age in there too, and that I had nothing to worry about. Luckily the first person I met was complaining that he was really sore from the weekend, and could hardly walk. Thinking he was probably suffering from the same thing as me, middle-age and an ability not to shake a hangover, I was horrified to hear that he had run up Ben Nevis in 2 hours and 22 minutes. Gav also looked pretty sore when I smacked him one for fooling me into this. After a while the old skills all came flooding back, and I was making late tackles, kicking the ball into touch, and occasionally falling over myself, so it felt as if I had never been away. Lily is rather annoyed with me though, as her Tuesday lunch is not as cold as usual. For the last two Monday nights I have returned home, had a very hot bath, and then taken an ice pack to bed, to assist in repairing my strains.

We are now hunkering down for 8 months of rubbish weather. The coal-bin is full, the waterproofs at the ready, and photos of trips to sunny climes are at hand.

Billy Joel may not have started a fire, but I reckon we have about 200 in a row ahead of us.

Next update - December

Snow Job

Two new things came to town this week. Snow, and a new job.

The two are not linked, but maybe I should set myself a challenge and see if I can incorporate the two.

After getting back from our wonderful trip to NZ, I could see the writing on the wall. Both my direct boss, and her boss, had both taken new jobs within the company while I was away. I had seen this behaviour before when I first came to the UK, where Mum and Dad moved without letting me know, and without forwarding their new address. It was such a jolly game, that every time I tracked them down, they would unexpectedly move again. Oh, how we laughed every time.

Since I now had no upper management, I had either been promoted in absentia, or they had both spoken to my parents. With the fateful phone call from my boss where she asked the classic question “ where do you see your career going …… “ I was summonsed to England to meet her, and discuss this. She showed me the new infrastructure diagram, with lots of new fancy titles, departments, and locations, but the biggest piece of the puzzle missing was the one for a middle-aged fat bloke, who was used to working from home in his underwear. Luckily at the last minute, in a role that was seen on the very roots of the corporate tree, which I had mistaken for a footnote in fact, was a couple of questions marks which they asked whether I would like to fill. Having spent most of my career (?) not really knowing what is going on, I thought this would role of ‘????’ would be perfect.

My boss has written up the job description for ‘EU IT Incident Manager’ and I have agreed to it. As long as HR does not figure out who I am, the paperwork should go through soon. It must be a made up job, as while it has ‘EU’ in the title some of the responsibilities will cover a team in the Philippines, and one in India.

Prior to this I will be going in to get a new bionic shoulder. I have calcific tendonitis in my left shoulder, and have a pre-operative assessment on Feb 5th. They will then give me a date for surgery, this will be booked, and I will get a new shoulder and a faded denim outfit to wear home, saving us $6,000,000, as the NHS here in Scotland is paying for it (via my National Insurance contributions).

I sent Mum and Dad a postcard telling them of my job and impending surgery, but the Royal Mail have just returned them both. Oh, those kidders……

Kiwi Jingle Bells

What are the 2 best things you can hear before getting on an international flight from Glasgow to Auckland?. “ Would you like a free upgrade to first class sir ?, “ I am sorry but the last seat available is in the middle of the row containing the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Oh, and they are drunk. And randy. It would also mean your wife and child will have to sit elsewhere in the plane, would that be OK? “.

In reality I received a phone call from Lily’s nursery 24 hours before our flight asking me “ who will be picking up Lily from nursery right now please, as she has chicken-pox? “ The same morning the car door was so frozen solid, that the hard plastic handle actually broke of in my hand. This is the same car we are lending to family while we are away in NZ. “ Would you like that fixed soon sir …. “. No pressure then.

The next day we dressed Lily in a burka, gave her the largest stuffed toy she could carry, and boarded the flight regardless. Before our eyes the spots were breaking out, so in Hong Kong the wife took Lils into a shop, and plastered her in so much make-up and concealer that all we needed to do was teach her how to play an instrument, twirl a baton and sing the star spangled banner, and she could have got a green card.

Arriving in Auckland, Shelley, Zach and Greg treated us royally, and we had an impromptu bbq and got drunk for the first of 21 drunken nights. Sleeping in the same room with the gal on a z-bed, I woke the house at 04:00 when Lily started to vomit and choke on it lying down. This coincided with Moira being on the loo, so as I could not seem to stop the gagging girl, I yelled at the top of my voice “ Moira “, in a very Flintstones manner. I think Greg thought that I was just a very passionate guy, so politely did not mention it the next day. Shelley simply thought that she would never have us back. Zach had everything that he thought about old people being weird, confirmed.

Arriving in Nelson, we could not have been happier. All the family were there, and E’beth had found us the best house possible for the duration of our stay. So it was that the next 3 weeks were spent in the bliss of having family around, beaches on the doorstep, a car at our disposal courtesy of Graham, and music on the radio that had not changed in 20 years. To summarise we: were spoiled rotten, had Mum and E’beth as resident babysitters, Lily caught her first salmon with Dey, Heather cooked up a storm, Michaela and Lily shared a birthday, Graham was with us 24/7 which was the best thing of all, Rob, Kate, Scarlett and Flo came over from Australia, Gordon, Linda and Cindy came down from Wellington via plane, train and automobile with old photos in tow, Shelley ,Greg, Zach and Geena came down from Auckland, Trevor taught Lily Australian slang, we had two great visits to Torrent Bay via water taxi, more bbqs than you could shake a pair of tongs at, and just laughed, drank and relaxed for 3 weeks. It was as if it was Christmas.

Arriving back in the UK the temperature had dropped 20 degrees, and it was back to work for me 12 hours after getting in the door.

Thank you all for making our trip so special, we have been raving about it ever since we got back.

Hoots mon it is cold

Howdy All,

It is so cold here that yesterday I saw a dog frozen to a lamppost.

Not really, but yesterday morning it was (-6). Yes, that is in degrees Celsius. This is fine if you want to keep your vodka on your doorstep instead of the freezer, but it plays hell with you when you place your car keys in your mouth ( so that you can carry Lily’s lunchbox, toys, clothes bag etc ), and then have to try an remove them.

Ever seen a grown man start a car with his chin, and having to wait 5 minutes until the fan has released the steering lock and his lips? Not pretty people.

Please find attached some photos I took yesterday, after going up to the village. The views are fantastic, and it makes it all worthwhile. Well almost worthwhile - on the weekend I had to use the pick to break up the gravel pile, just so I could use the shovel to put the gravel in the wheelbarrow. Oh yeah, don’t put your mobile phone in your mouth when picking up a shovel. Ever seen a grown man start a car, just so he could use the heater to remove a mobile phone from his chin? Not pretty people.


Having said that, we also went tobogganing on the same day, and it was fantastic fun.

With all of the snow, sleet, ice etc, we are soooooooo looking forward to heading for NZ next week. Did I say next week? Hurrah !!!

The next photos will be of us being sunburnt, and hopefully complaining that it is far too hot. Ever seen a grown man burn his lips on his car keys that he left in the sun….?


Apparently in a drive to get women in Scotland to eat more vegetables, designers have started making hats out of cabbages.

All Thumbs - green ones

Signs of middle age.

1. Ear hair

2. catching your reflection in a bus stop window, and wondering who the old guy is, and whether you should offer him a seat.

3. being at bus-stops in the first place

4. gardening

5. gardening and enjoying it

Today saw us progress to item 5. The wife has decided that if you are going to start wearing gumboots with butterflies on them, then you may as well start getting your hands dirty. When I say her hands dirty, I actually mean her getting my hands dirty first.

" sweetheart, remember those railway sleepers left over from the old bridge ?". 'What, those really, really heavy ones'. " Yes, those - I thought we could build a raised bed to grow vegetables in. I will go to the nursery and buy all the plants, if you get started ". In marriage speak, that means you have 1.5 hours to get it built before she is back. In fairness, that was all in my imagination.

It was worse than that.

Not really. The wife went and bought plants, and then we waited until it was really raining hard, and then we started. Moira first weeded, dug over, and then added compost to 'the bed' while I huffed and puffed, and eventually 'swore the sleepers' into place. The tourettes version of Alan Titchmarsh finally had the last piece in place, and then Moira set to her planting. As it is summer it naturally was raining hard. Moira had to point an umbrella towards the ground so that the splashback did not keep hitting her in the eyes as she planted.

No doubt the rabbits will love it.

To complete the whole countryside sillyness, 3 of us lads have decided to resign from the male species, and are entering the Killearn fete ( Item 6 of middle age ) Best potato shaped into a body part, or world largest marrow? No. 'Best Cake Made By A Male'. No, seriously, that is a real category. I couldn't quite see why the 'x' and 'y' chromosomes might differ in front of an oven, after all it is not exactly the 'clean and jerk' required to get it out of the oven, (with my banana loaf last weekend almost proved the exception) but those are the local rules. With this in mind, Jo, Gav and myself have handed in our testicles, and are going for it. Banana loaf aside, my chocolate cake didn't actually compress any discs, so maybe it will get a flutter. I'll keep you posted on how Item 6 of middle age turns out.

Yesterday Moira rekindled an old passion, and took us to a local stables. It has been 20 years since she has had regular riding lessons, but they say it is like falling off a horse. To prove this she has booked herself a refresher lesson next Friday, and after a few of these, they will turn her loose into the local countryside. She is determined to make it a regular thing of it, and when Lily turns 4 she is also allowed to start lessons. It did not have exactly an auspicious start as while we were watching a group of girls go through their paces, Lily slipped off the steps and tumbled face first into the ground, wailing and crying, and almost spooking the horses.

Last week I went to Dublin for two days to attend our friend Elaine's wedding. Absolutely fantastic time had by all, and I caught up with old flatmates Barry and Dermot, who came all the way from Australia just to get hangovers. A proper Catholic service that made me feel guilt from the moment it started, until we walked outside. I feel guilty just saying that. Elaine and Michael booked a wonderful country manor, and the champagne started at 4pm, and we had fun all the way until we hit the pit at 4am. Barry and I shared a room, and could have recorded the 'trumpet voluntary' if we had been bothered, but instead I was woken at 07:15 as Barry kicked the window out, to save his life and my own. Ah, it brought back old memories for the pair of us.

Strangely I didn't tell the boys about the cake baking. Some stories are best left unsaid .....

Lily gets a new summer wardrobe

The Scottish weather forecast this year is mainly being read from the bible. 40 days and 40 nights, essentially. With this in mind, Gran (Nancy) sent her a new summer outfit. Pink naturally as it is Lily's favourite colour, and matches her Dad's eyes.

Lily has a social calendar that puts Paris Hilton in the shade, although the conversations at Lily's are probably of a higher calibre. 3 weekends on the bounce the girl is dressing up as a fairy, a princess, and a butterfly. Speaking of which, her latest toy has a name of " princess butterfly horse ". Could be worse. " Heavenly hiraani tiger-lily "?

Last week saw Neil, Lorna, wee Archie and new addition Eve Mackay come to visit for a week. Lots of action, as Archie is a pocket rocket, and he enjoyed lots of time on the trampoline with the gal. We took a boat trip across to Inchcailloch and had a great barbie, as the sun shone through for an hour or so. We also managed to get in a local Highland Games, with men throwing around big logs of wood, hammer throws, tug-of-war, and picking up farms hands and seeing how far you could throw them. Savage, un-neccessary, but captivating at the same time. Weird.

They also had a wrestling event for kids, which catered for everyone - girls, and gingers alike. I even saw a ginger girl. Wow, did she need to get rid of some anger. I bet in about 3 years she will throwing around the odd farm hand without any problem.

Work has been keeping me busier than a one legged man in an @rse-kicking competition, so I have been relying on the stress to keep the calories off. It didn't work so I indulged in some comfort eating, to get over the stress. The extra weight stressed me ..... You've got it. I also have a wedding to attend in Dublin in 2 weeks time, and do not fit into any suits. I am imagining myself lying on the floor, using a coathanger to try and pull my trousers zip up, while sucking in deep breaths. Rather hard to look natural at the church when the bride has to step over you in the aisle.

Anyway, the weather was good this week, so Lily did not have to wear the summer outfit from Gran, and instead went strawberry picking. We also inflated the pool in the garden, and even fat boy jumped in for 20 mins.

Right, I can hear the rioters heading for my liquor cabinet. Just enough time to pour the Bells into the 'Glengoyne 20 year old' bottle.

Solstice

As Rob pointed out the other day, there is a certain irony that the last blog entry written was titled 'The writers strike is over'. That was in February. Rob uses irony, Kate uses an iron bar. " If I logon and see the back of Lily's head one more time,you'll swing for it McKendry. Trust me, I know the right people". So, through a sense of duty, and fear, the McKendry's will precis the last 6 months.

March saw us going on holiday for the first time 'en masse'. 5 families, 10 adults, 8 children, no fear. This was either going to be brilliant, or the sequel to The Shining. It was brilliant, but bizarrely had elements of The Shining. I say this because we collectively rented Melmerby Hall as our holiday retreat, complete with ghosts. Not the one of my former self - thin, tanned, with a hairline, - with a waistline - no this was the real deal - dead folk. Some of them really old dead folk.

The first night we had all settled the kids into bed, a few games of pool had been played, a little bit of Neil Diamond was to be heard in the background, when Jill found the 'guest book'. Interesting entries. " We had booked the house for the 8 of us, only to discover that 10 were present ". " If you wonder what the dents in the wall are for in the pool room, it was because we used them to repel the unwanted guest ", and so on, and so on.

While I am sure a lot of us were looking forward to things going bump in the night over the next week, it was for all the wrong reasons. Naturally there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and we all managed to work ourselves into a slight frenzy any time after about 8 pm. " Honey, have you checked on the kids ". " No, do you want to do it ?". " Naaah, I am sure they will be fine ".

Over the week a few odd things did happen. Jude and Pascal came to bed to find two drawers on the floor, one on either side of the bed. These did not match any in their room, or in fact the rest of the house.

Joe saw a ghost.

While Jude and Fraser were chatting one day, the multi-CD player randomly went through all 6 CD drawers. 'whirr, clunk, whirr cluck etc'. When it finished I said " Hey Jude ( I had actually been waiting all week to say that ) watch this. I then pressed on the 'ON' button and started up the machine. I then turned it off again. This proved that it had gone through all of the CD drawers when it wasn't even turned on. Neither was I.

Having said that, what a fabulous week. Great weather, great company, kids got on together, adults got on together, ghosts only appeared once and only for Joe. Two nights were birthdays so we had caterers in to host each of the evenings. Would do it all again in a heartbeat.

April saw 'Moira-the -wife' have another birthday. By that I do not mean she turned 2, but she did end up receiving 3 parcels from the company 'LUSH', who do make the most amazingly 'scented' gifts. Weirdly, due to Big Brother restrictons, none of the gifts delivered had contact details as to who they were from. We have found out since that one was kindly from Sarah in New York, one from lovely Kristen and Malcolm, but the third remains a mystery. Contacting LUSH to find out who any of them were from resulted in them acting as if we had asked them their bra-size. Therefore, please can the mysteriously generous third party please identify themselves so that we can thank them, otherwise I will have to pretend it was me, as an excuse for not being able to change a washer, bad habits, or sometimes my favourite t-shirt 3 days running.

Last month we went down to 'that-thar-London', for a wedding on Hove. Our friends Natalie and Mike celebrated their most amazing wedding, and were kind enough to ask us too. Natalie's Mum is an opera singer, and sang 3 songs to her prior to the dinner. An incredible experience that we all will remember, and it made all of the parents there imagine what it would be like to be able to create a gift so personal. The champagne flowed, the speeches were fantastic, and it is the only wedding I have been to where the 100 guests all used 'kazoos' to blow 'here comes the bride' to the happy couple as they entered.

Moira and Jackie babysat Lily for us, who did not even wave goodbye to us when we left for the wedding, as she was having so much fun. We did also, as Lorna and Neil came to visit the next day, bringing their beautiful new daughter Eve Elizabeth Mackay with them. Suzy and Steve also visited bringing Joel with them, so it was a case of of something old (us), something new (Eve), something borrowed( a dialysis machine for the day after) and something blue( Moira's tongue -babe, stay away from the curacao-weddings, huh ?)

We have since been visited by Zoe, Paul, Sam and Bronte, who also brought along Suzy and Joseph. They were the perfect guests - they cooked, cleaned, were great fun, and also did not mention waistlines. Paul received a knighthood while he was here, as he fixed the leaking tap in the garage. He also fixed the dishwasher so that it now accepts full-sized plates (don't ask). As Rob said to me " I wonder how Paul managed to get your testicles through customs when he returned to Australia ". I don't care. Hey Paul, did you have to pay by the kilo?

Anyway, Wimbledon tennis has started in England, and we literally are still lighting the fire in Scotland. Not to complain, as we could not be happier ( well Moira could, if her husband knew how to fix washers and dishwashers ).

As the young folk say 'shouts go out to'

1.) Ray Purdy - recovering from a large operation. Glad to hear you are on the mend.
2.) Russell McKendry - also recovering from a large op. Well done Dad, we love you.
3.) Kristen and Malcolm, Joshua and Georgia - have sold their house in Streatham, London, and moved to Vermont,USA. Well done Malcolm on sitting the USA medical exams, and now being qualified in two countries as a Doctor. Will you be in the sequel to Catch 22? Welcome home Kristen.
4.) Lorna and Neil - proud parents of Eve
5.) Moira (the sister) , welcome back from Canberra and NZ.
6.) Shelley and Greg getting engaged. Good on ya.

Right, the picket line has been crossed. Next blog in December.

Much love to you and yours

The McKs - Scottish Branch.

The writers strike is over

Dear All,

As you have probably already guessed, for legal reasons I could not update my BLOG due to union issues with the writers guild, but having succumbed to the biggest gagging order since the one ordered by Linda Lovelace's director, we are now back online.

So what has happened since Halloween? By looking in the mirror my first answer would be I have increased my calorific intake to 4000 per day. By looking at the weather I would say 'not much'. By looking at our bank balance, I would say we must have booked our tickets to NZ for Christmas 2008, or we have been hoaxed into giving it all away.

Having no memory of what occurred in November, I will skip directly to December where Nancy (my Mum) arrived at Heathrow on December 8th, experiencing a terrifying landing. Apparently they were about to touch down when the plane accelerated up again and they went for another circuit. The pilot advised them that the weather was incredibly windy and that he would 'give it one more go' otherwise they will divert elsewhere. Just what you want at the end of 30 hours travel. Eventually, bumping down through the clouds, causing some passengers to use the little bags provided ( why are they always little? - duh ) the pilot finally brought the thing in sideways, swung her round, and dropped her down. I believe the woman next to Mum was heard to say " Did we just land, or were we shot down ? ".

This year saw me playing Santa to Lily's playgroup ( see the 4000 calories mentioned earlier ). 20 kids looked fairly frightened of me, so I dished out their pressies as quickly as possible. Having been given a slice of cake by the group leader ( ensuring I do not slim down too much for next year I guess ) and a bottle of wine as a thank you, I left the church hall just before lunchtime. Granny was giving me a lift home, and as Lily had followed us to the window, decided that we had better meet around the corner of the car-park. While waiting for Anne, I thought that a bite of cake wouldn't go amiss, and was just about to lift my beard to throw it in my mouth in one go, when I looked up to see about 15 little faces pressed up against the glass from the Mulberry Bush nursery across the road. Remaining in character I gave them a big cheery wave, and then jumped into Anne's car. The kids must think she is Mary Claus, and that Santa must have a drinking problem, standing in the carpark with a nice Cabernet Sauvingnon of a yuletide morning.

Sister Moira and Jackie had looked after Mum in Hove for a week, so she was then sent up to Glasgow to visit us. The timing of this was so that she could attend Lily's 3rd birthday party, which was a success by all accounts. Due to an administrative error, we ended up with two bouncy castles ordered, and what looked like a situation that could turn out to be a punch-up in the church car park. As far as kids entertainers go, one guy made the child snatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang look like Mary Poppins. The kids had a blast, and her Granny Mackay made her the most amazing Cinderella cake, complete with mice to pull it along. In keeping with the story I ensured that the whole thing was eaten before midnight.

Christmas was a riot. I am not sure what the collective noun for 26 family members sitting down to lunch is, but it might be a 'scrum(cious)'. First course was held at Anne's, then we all sat down at our house at the 3 assembled tables, to serve luch for 26. Afterwards we adjourned back to Anne's for unwrapping of the presents and singing.

The Boxing Day dip saw two newcomers this year, with Meline and Jackie joining the fray. A DVD has been made by Malcolm and any requests for a copy can be sent to him.

New Years saw Liz, Mike and Charlie join us for 3 days, where it rained non-stop. We invited 4 local friends too and a great evening was had by all, with me stumbling to bed at 04:00 am, to be woken at 05:50 by Lily. The wife kindly got up instead. Bless 'er.

January saw various outings with Mum, and she also got to spend a lot of time looking after Lily, plus seeing her sister Helen. My cousin Stephen got married so we all threw on our dresses and helped them celebrate.

While Mum was here we decided to use this as an excuse to get away by ourselves for 2 nights. Through contacts we managed to get 'staff rates' at the Norton House hotel, and made good use of their new 'spa' facilities. http://www.handpicked.co.uk/opencms/sites/default/HPH/hotels/norton_house/about/index.html We explored Edinburgh by day, and after lunging around in the steam rooms etc, or in Moira;s case after a massage, we would dine on one of the two restaurants. We felt ever so grown up, but were probably the only ones there who had brought their own bottles of wine in an M&S bag. clink clink.

February came around all too soon, and then it was time for Mum to go back to spend her last week with Moira and Jackie. Moira had taken the week off work, only for them to say to her ' you have to attend a meeting in Paris on Wednesday'. When she said ' I can't, I have my Mum here' they told her to take her along. Apparently Mum did not add much to the meeting, but her 3 day trip was fantastic by all accounts. Bon bouche, bon bouche.

Weather. What a weird thing. Inconvenient Truth or not, Scotland has finally got some warm weather -in February. Apologies to Polar Bears that do not have an ice-flow to walk over to get their frozen fish fingers, or whatever it is that polar bears buy at the shops, but we were just happy to get a weekend where it didn't rain. Last weekend we had a picnic at Glenorchy ( the original ) and it was beautiful. The girl fell in a puddle right up to her middle, but luckily we had a whole set of spare clothes.

Lily very much misses her Gran, but is happy to know that she will see her at Christmas this year. We have just booked out tickets on the weekend, arriving in Auckland at 10:00am on Friday 12th, and departing at 23:59 on December 31st. Fintustuc !!