The writers strike is over

Dear All,

As you have probably already guessed, for legal reasons I could not update my BLOG due to union issues with the writers guild, but having succumbed to the biggest gagging order since the one ordered by Linda Lovelace's director, we are now back online.

So what has happened since Halloween? By looking in the mirror my first answer would be I have increased my calorific intake to 4000 per day. By looking at the weather I would say 'not much'. By looking at our bank balance, I would say we must have booked our tickets to NZ for Christmas 2008, or we have been hoaxed into giving it all away.

Having no memory of what occurred in November, I will skip directly to December where Nancy (my Mum) arrived at Heathrow on December 8th, experiencing a terrifying landing. Apparently they were about to touch down when the plane accelerated up again and they went for another circuit. The pilot advised them that the weather was incredibly windy and that he would 'give it one more go' otherwise they will divert elsewhere. Just what you want at the end of 30 hours travel. Eventually, bumping down through the clouds, causing some passengers to use the little bags provided ( why are they always little? - duh ) the pilot finally brought the thing in sideways, swung her round, and dropped her down. I believe the woman next to Mum was heard to say " Did we just land, or were we shot down ? ".

This year saw me playing Santa to Lily's playgroup ( see the 4000 calories mentioned earlier ). 20 kids looked fairly frightened of me, so I dished out their pressies as quickly as possible. Having been given a slice of cake by the group leader ( ensuring I do not slim down too much for next year I guess ) and a bottle of wine as a thank you, I left the church hall just before lunchtime. Granny was giving me a lift home, and as Lily had followed us to the window, decided that we had better meet around the corner of the car-park. While waiting for Anne, I thought that a bite of cake wouldn't go amiss, and was just about to lift my beard to throw it in my mouth in one go, when I looked up to see about 15 little faces pressed up against the glass from the Mulberry Bush nursery across the road. Remaining in character I gave them a big cheery wave, and then jumped into Anne's car. The kids must think she is Mary Claus, and that Santa must have a drinking problem, standing in the carpark with a nice Cabernet Sauvingnon of a yuletide morning.

Sister Moira and Jackie had looked after Mum in Hove for a week, so she was then sent up to Glasgow to visit us. The timing of this was so that she could attend Lily's 3rd birthday party, which was a success by all accounts. Due to an administrative error, we ended up with two bouncy castles ordered, and what looked like a situation that could turn out to be a punch-up in the church car park. As far as kids entertainers go, one guy made the child snatcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang look like Mary Poppins. The kids had a blast, and her Granny Mackay made her the most amazing Cinderella cake, complete with mice to pull it along. In keeping with the story I ensured that the whole thing was eaten before midnight.

Christmas was a riot. I am not sure what the collective noun for 26 family members sitting down to lunch is, but it might be a 'scrum(cious)'. First course was held at Anne's, then we all sat down at our house at the 3 assembled tables, to serve luch for 26. Afterwards we adjourned back to Anne's for unwrapping of the presents and singing.

The Boxing Day dip saw two newcomers this year, with Meline and Jackie joining the fray. A DVD has been made by Malcolm and any requests for a copy can be sent to him.

New Years saw Liz, Mike and Charlie join us for 3 days, where it rained non-stop. We invited 4 local friends too and a great evening was had by all, with me stumbling to bed at 04:00 am, to be woken at 05:50 by Lily. The wife kindly got up instead. Bless 'er.

January saw various outings with Mum, and she also got to spend a lot of time looking after Lily, plus seeing her sister Helen. My cousin Stephen got married so we all threw on our dresses and helped them celebrate.

While Mum was here we decided to use this as an excuse to get away by ourselves for 2 nights. Through contacts we managed to get 'staff rates' at the Norton House hotel, and made good use of their new 'spa' facilities. http://www.handpicked.co.uk/opencms/sites/default/HPH/hotels/norton_house/about/index.html We explored Edinburgh by day, and after lunging around in the steam rooms etc, or in Moira;s case after a massage, we would dine on one of the two restaurants. We felt ever so grown up, but were probably the only ones there who had brought their own bottles of wine in an M&S bag. clink clink.

February came around all too soon, and then it was time for Mum to go back to spend her last week with Moira and Jackie. Moira had taken the week off work, only for them to say to her ' you have to attend a meeting in Paris on Wednesday'. When she said ' I can't, I have my Mum here' they told her to take her along. Apparently Mum did not add much to the meeting, but her 3 day trip was fantastic by all accounts. Bon bouche, bon bouche.

Weather. What a weird thing. Inconvenient Truth or not, Scotland has finally got some warm weather -in February. Apologies to Polar Bears that do not have an ice-flow to walk over to get their frozen fish fingers, or whatever it is that polar bears buy at the shops, but we were just happy to get a weekend where it didn't rain. Last weekend we had a picnic at Glenorchy ( the original ) and it was beautiful. The girl fell in a puddle right up to her middle, but luckily we had a whole set of spare clothes.

Lily very much misses her Gran, but is happy to know that she will see her at Christmas this year. We have just booked out tickets on the weekend, arriving in Auckland at 10:00am on Friday 12th, and departing at 23:59 on December 31st. Fintustuc !!